This past week marked the 15th anniversary of my mother’s
passing, and I honestly cannot believe that that many years have passed. It
feels like yesterday that my Dad, sister and I were in that hospital room
making a decision I wish upon nobody, and yet somehow it also feels like I’ve
lived a lifetime since that day. There’s life before mom died, and life after.
And there are so many things she’s missed in my life. She never met Jason. She
didn’t see me get my Doctorate, or even my Master’s degree. She never saw me
conduct or play a Broadway show. And the most tragic; my kids will never know
her kind, generous, fun-loving spirit.
It’s easy to get sucked in to the grief and sadness, and
to start to feel sorry for myself. And when those emotions arise, I will let
myself feel them. Because it’s sad and awful, and I need to feel those things.
We all do. And I know I’m not alone in this experience, which gives me great
comfort. And yet, sometimes the loss of someone so very close to us can make us
feel isolated and alone, as if nobody else can truly understand the pain and
grief we’ve felt. But if there is one thing losing my mother so early in my
life taught me, it’s that tomorrow is never guaranteed. We truly only have
right now to live our best life, so we better not waste it.
My mother was an incredibly bright light who lived her
life to the fullest, and I think the greatest way I can honor her legacy is to
do the same with mine. To love harder, to give more, and to spread more light
into the world. And I’d be willing to bet that we all knew someone like that
who now lives on in our memories. So I ask...What better way is there to honor
that life than to continue spreading the brightness that they did? Let them
live on through you and all that you do.
